Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My not so secret obsession (Megan...this one's for you!)

For those of you who don't know, I love crayons. I'm not talking about a passing fad-inspired infatuation, I mean I love, as in weakness for, delight in, serious enjoyment of, real, long-lasting love. This love almost equals my desire for sparkly things. That is how serious we are talking here. I remember being very young and obsessed with a particular fluorescent pink crayon. The fluorescent crayons created quite a sensation and were the hot item in my kindergarten class. They didn't come in the regular pack that we got in class, I had to beg & plead for the special package containing the vividly colorful collection. I remember using those Ultra Pink, Yellow & Blue crayons until they were beyond nubbins. I carried around a special container with tiny specks of these extra special colors until there just was nothing left! Just reminiscing makes me feel like someone from a Laura Ingalls Wilder book. Oh, the frugality! I can still feel the waxy smoothness between my fingertips.........Anywho--suffice it to say, to me, crayons are magical. And I have to disclose here and now: I am a crayon snob. Not that there is anything wrong with the Roseart brand of art supplies, 'cause there aint. They just aren't Crayola.

Those Binney and Smith babies are the bomb! I cannot begin to describe the feeling I get when I encounter a pristine box of unused Crayolas. Something about seeing them all lined up in nice, orderly rows......such pretty, colorful rows. The identically-sized rows.

It fills such a need for perfection in me. I cannot explain....so I buy.....I must have virgin boxes of Crayola crayons in my posession. I think this is where we cross over into the fetish category. If I have a box with flaws at all, it is relegated to the kids crayon box and I go buy myself a new box. If I find a limited edition box, I keep it far out of reach lest it be mistaken for crayons that are intended for actual coloring, heaven forbid! And just in case you think me odd, let me point out that I am not alone. There are serious crayon collectors out there. These particular crayons just sold for $21.00 on Ebay. I wish it had been me. No, wait, I wish I had purloined that pack of Macaroni Grill crayons myself when I had the chance! A crayon called Portobello for heavens sake!! Which leads me to the less conventional side of my obsession. The first thing I do when I see crayons is to bring them up to my nose as if i were a wine taster checking bouquet. I then take a very indelicate SNIFF!!! Breathing the waxy goodness deep into my lungs! I know, I know!! It's not normal!! But don't knock it until you've tried it. It rates right up there, just a spot above wet cement for me!


kellieanne said...

I'm a crayola gal myself! Wow! Imagine that we have something like that in common.

The Crayola/RoseArt comparison is kind of like buying a cheap Wendy's burger for the kids then traveling down the road to Kneaders for a gourmet sandwich for me. Kids will eat anything or use any crayon and it's just the same. Adults - well, we know the difference.

haley said...

Tammy,you are not alone. This year when the school supplies went on sale, and the box of 24 Crayolas were 22 cents each, I bought seven boxes. Yes, seven. I don't know why, but I couldn't let a school year pass without delicious, waxy, perfect crayons for me, and me alone.
And thanks, Kellie, for bringing up Kneaders. I had almost forgotten how much I love (and miss) the turkey ranch on french country...with an extra side of ranch and house parmesean chips. Almost.

Piglet 26 said...

hahahaha...that is the freakiest thing I have ever heard of! I never knew that about you. I did like the names of the food crayons though. I on the other hand HATE crayons because when I see a pack, all I can think is, when is teddy going to get into that and destroy more of my walls?!?

Carterista said...

One of my favorite memories from college is coloring with wonderful Crayolas in the living room of my apartment with my roommate!

Peggy said...

Lance feels nearly the same way about Play-doh as you do about crayons. Not that he needs unused containers stashed in the house (although, don't you just love a fresh, unused container of Play-doh?! Nice.). I do think that it would make him happier if I just rolled a hunk of Play-doh on my neck long enough to make it have a real good Play-dohy smell, than if I sprayed perfume on it...

• m e g • said...

I am quite satisifed with this post. It's brilliant.
Now when i see a fresh box of virgin crayons i have an urge to smell the delicious arouma that encases them.
You are an inspiration.

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