Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Patiently waiting.....

I knew I'd go overdue. I told everyone I would go overdue. It's just my way. But despite the slightly bewildered looks I get from people who don't (or can't) understand why I would voluntarily cancel an induction date, or refuse to have some kind of intervention, I am completely at ease with my very last stages of my very last (sob!) pregnancy. I have so enjoyed every bit of it. There is nothing, NOTHING like feeling a baby move inside you. Even after 4 or 5 months of movement I still get caught off guard sometimes and find myself catching my breath and laughing at the re-realization that there is someone inside me. I love watching my tummy grow and am still in AWE, even after five children, that your body can do such things! I mean, holy cow!! We're talking actual, new human being in the process here!!
Even when I felt like crap in the early stages, I knew this for what it was...my last chance to experience everything I love about being pregnant and giving birth, and yes...I ENJOY giving birth. Every painful, messy moment. It lasts an infinitesimally short time compared to the result and is easily forgotten. I have deliberately hoped that this pregnancy would last as long as possible so I could relish in it and it seems that I am going to get my wish! So, no...I am not going nuts waiting. I am not hoping at every small, medium, or large contraction I have that this is IT. This is not something I want to pass quickly by. Let me clarify...I am indescribably ecstatic at the thought that in a few short days, I will be indulging in my favorite activity thus far in my life. Holding and caring for a brand new baby! However, there is a part of me that will never be able to peacefully accept that this stage of my life is over.
I felt a bit of this feeling each time I was pregnant in the past and made sure I got a good-and-pregnant picture of myself, even if I had to enlist one of my kids to take it for me. So I have to express what a complete gift it is that I had the chance to have so many prego-tastic pictures of my fabulously large, enciente tummy taken by master photographer Erin Summerill. She has given me something that I will treasure forever and will possibly even make the unavoidable step into the next stage somewhat more bearable for me. So I will simple say: Thank You Erin! Your talent is being used for good!



5 comments:

Piglet 26 said...

man those pictures are freaking awesome! hahahahahaha...hopefully I will be getting a call for part 2...if you know what I mean

Judy said...

I can't shoot good pictures yet, but I can make a video of part II...? Just a thought! :-)

Carolyn said...

Tammy I loved reading your blog entry...you say everything so perfectly. I am so excited for you to hold your little angel in your arms. There is nothing like it in the world! I now talk from experience!

haley said...

Oh, Tammy! I feel like such a selfish little brat! I sit at my computer choking back the tears. You write so beautifully. I have been struggling with the aches and pains and all the unexpecteds of this pregnancy while trying to keep a positive attitude and it has not been easy. Thank you for sharing! I miss you and love you!

kellieanne said...

I wish I had adopted your view with my last baby. I can't help but feel I missed out on something . . .

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